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Why I started this blog?

I started this blog because it was a requirement and part of an assignment for one of our academic units, online journalism. I must admit that initially I was doing it for the sake of earning a score for my examination. Not once did it ever cross my mind that this space will provide me with an opportunity to writing what I resonate with in my every day to day life. That this platform would be an avenue to pour out your mind and emotions as a way of dealing with stress.

This blog is meant to educate, inform and entertain you. I write about things that happen around us and we can easily identify ourselves with. I write about stuff that both directly and indirectly affect us. I am looking forward to making it even more Interesting by incorporating NEWS on this blog. Feel free to read my posts, comment on them, add and subtract when you feel like it. Criticize where possible. Thank you for paying audience to my writings ❤❤. Come and Let’s take this adventure!

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IF I HAD THE POWER AND RESOURCES…

I hope by the time you are getting hold of your gadget to go through this article you are safe and as I’ve always stated, sane. It is obvious its not easy for everyone of us, if you happen to still have your job intact and your full salary, unslashed, credited in your bank account, count yourself amongst the Almighty’s most blessed lot!

Those on antidepressants: My thoughts go out to you and wish that you find your purpose and ubiquitous reasons to want to live for. I hope you find closure! In all the adversities may you smile in the end for having endured and stayed strong when you didn’t know the outcome and didn’t have it figured out.

I’m amongst the cohort that has been struggling to grip upon anything forthcoming to clear my overstaffed head with a myriad of WHYS, BUTS, WHENS, WHERES, HOWS etcetera. I’m not writing this because I already resolved my situation nor eased my head, NO. During a talk with one friend of mine, I posed the question how he’s able to have it under control even when he knows it’s escalated and out of his control, incapable of holding it together and he said ” Ruth it is the same affair everywhere, we fight on! Get hold of something you will smile and your heart melts at while busy at it. To pass and override the pitying, worrying, frustrating, and regretting time.” But I’d interrupt with how was my LOVE for writing and reading going to pay my bills? Interjecting, “Also pray” he continued ” No one is certain but this could be the start for something meaningful. Something that could build your portfolio to be presented at an interview or even included on your resume”

Preceding his words was a recommendation from yet another friend who had suggested I stock my pieces as I save for a commercial website that will at least earn me a cent. A website he’d offer to create at a friendly price. An idea I’d put into consideration and act upon when ready. I am deviating from the initial purpose of this post and I wouldn’t wish to loose its meaning.

This piece is for those individuals, I’d be more than willing to stretch out my hands and give the support you are currently looking for. I wish I had the power and all the needed resources to pull you out of your current situations. All I can do is empathize with you, it’s all I can go out of my way to offer you. My ears, my shoulders are all I can give you for the meantime. My prayers too, Yegon was right! It’s what has been my major source of strength. A few individuals who also went out of their way to listen, to talk to me and offer a hand are the cause of my current peace of mind and sanity. I pray for people with pure intentions, who are more than willing to support you, into your life. This is a phase, like gold, you are being molded into a resilient individual that doesn’t get swept away by the tormenting storm. You are only being challenged to test your endurance longevity and you are going to pass the test.

Pen down your pain, sing it out if you can, walk it, run it, craft it, cry it or pray it. Whichever best way that suits you, do it! All are coping mechanisms for different people. Don’t hurt yourself, think of a way you can transform that pain into a beautiful embodiment you will live to love for the rest of your life. Get out of the pity party, shun conversations that remind you of your pain or add to your pain. Cut people that intentionally ruin or spoil your vibe and energy. Free your spirit to explore hidden treasures and potential. You are magnificent at what you set your mind and soul to do. Believe that there’s no other better version of you than you. Surrender all that you’ve got no control over and quit battles that aren’t yours but for the supernatural force. Your life is or has been orchestrated and your destiny is one you must get to.

When we finally find the resources and power to help others, we will look back not at how our asses were profusely flogged by misery but at how much we were able to take, strived on and unapologetically found our purpose to which we will be living to.

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BEFORE SAYING I DO!

This is one vast erea of exploration we all would automatically, gladly grab a seat to listen and contribute one or two things based on what we’re predisposed to. Before you say I do, before walking down that aisle or moving in together if you choose not to walk on the aisle, during courtship and the period of getting to know each other. It is very important for the two of you to talk about a myriad of things that will affect the both of you later in your life if you all choose to turn a blind eye to this crucial stage where you ought to gain insightful information that will be of great help to your union.

A photo of two mature people in love captured during dusk.

Wow! I just talked like a successful married woman 😱😂😂. God willing and given His divine grace, that’s where I’m heading. Don’t we all want or yearn for a successful, peaceful and super marriage? I personally do and I’m claiming it!

I feel generous enough to share this information after another generous close person to me shared the same with me and I found it insightful and useful for any individual interested in getting married some day. The message is anointed and it comes from a Catholic priest who has packaged the info so well that you’d love it yourself. I’m not going into much details, I will instead give you an overview of what one should be open minded to expect and be willing to talk about before saying “I DO”

The very very first thing you should talk about and get informed of is why you are getting married. Clearly there are so many reasons as to why people get married. Do you know why you want to get married? Why now or in the future? Do you know why the person you want to settle down with? Do you want a wedding or no, why? 😰 Yeaaasss💪 see how you posed there! It is scary that you just want to marry for no reason but love, right? Dig deep and establish good reasons why you want to get married and why to the person you have chosen. Don’t marry at a young age and not at a way too old age! Discuss all these between the two of you.

Other things up for discussion are finances, who will be the leader and controller, friends and in-laws, children, work, family background or history of your partner, religion and I intentionally left out sex because it is one most feared topic and it is one major course of separations and divorce in marriages that you should always talk about and agree on. If a partner says sex is for the sake of children, that marriage is going into the gutter, meaning after you’ve gotten the agreed number of children, there’s no sex. Sex is meant for companionship!

Marriage should not be a trial and error thing, so get to know why you want to get married before getting into it. The background or history of your partner is also very important as certain things are genetic and can be inherited from the ones who came before your partner in the family rank, such as witchcraft, adultery, polygamy or international seed sowing. If not well discussed, it could cause you so much trouble in your marriage. About finances; who pays for what? Do you open a joint account? You should hold discussions on how money should be effectively spent. Many marriages break because of financial issues which is again an important facet to bear in mind and talk about.

Talk about friends of your partner, do you know them? If you know them, then how much information do you know about them? This might look basic but if you ignore it, some friends could be the cause of problems in your marriage and so will the in-laws. All these people might influence some of the decisions your partner might make while married to you if you do not take enough time to talk and get to know your partner’s friends and family. Some of the few things that friends and family could influence are financial decisions, development plans, getting children in your union.

Ala! I almost left this behind, very crucial! Get to know if you’re marrying a first born, the middle child of or the last born, child placement. They all have different character traits. Each placement look at issues differently, If a first born marries a fellow first born, these are meticulous people and perfectionists who don’t pave way for submission, they don’t have humility and these types of marriages always end up not working at all. The middle ones are the best peace makers despite being a petty lot and perpetual complainers. The fact that they’re peace makers makes their marriages work. Last borns are the laziest creatures who lack boundaries of choice of friends, they are reckless in sex and work and a bunch that never want to take responsibilities.

Take time to meticulously learn more about how birth placement affects how people view different issues. It could probably salvage a falling marriage if precautions were taken prior to your union. You are going to realize how unprepared you are the moment you go through this but good thing is, it’s never too late to learn. Are you ready to say I DO?

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Covid claims medic in Kenya

It is a sad day today on the 10th of July 2020 for the medical fraternity in Kenya as they loose one of their medic to Covid after contracting it while on the frontline rendering her services to pregnant mothers. Adisa Lugaliki has died a single mother at the age of 39, leaving behind 13 year old twins. She was a gynecologist who loved her work and from her colleagues and patients; she’s truly going to be missed.This is the first death case of a doctor since the first case of the novel Covid 19 was reported in the country.

The more reason as to why all of us have to, if possible must take care and avoid exposing ourselves to this virus is to relieve those in the frontline taking care of those that are positive. When we take care of ourselves and follow the directives stipulated by the Ministry of Health, we become mindful and take care of those in the frontline fighting the virus. We can play a big role in ensuring that the health facilities and workers are not overwhelmed, hence keeping them away from danger.

Photo of the deceased 39 year old Adisa Doreen Lugaliki, gynaecologist.

So far 292 healthcare workers have contracted the virus since the first case was announced in the country.

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Fight on, we shall conquer!

With freedom comes inevitable repercussions that only you will be accountable to your own self for! The current situation is the most worst case scenario and everyone deserves to take care of themselves and their LOVED ones by remaining disciplined and doing what is right in their own eyes and of those they love.

It might seem to be the hardest time to be alive while one; Cannot afford a meal, Cannot pay rent,Is unable to settle electricity and water bills, Is beyond sanity and cannot afford mental strength. We all have honestly been into the chorus, open the economy and lift the cessation of movement directive. So Many people so to speak have been having it rough to see it dawn with no slight idea where to step and dusk with no form of assurance!

Most people are caught between two rights, going back to their family after the boarders have been opened and staying where they currently are. If they choose staying, it means they are still uncertain how they will pay all their bills and where to find a job since many, so many companies have rendered jobs redundant, thousands of people are jobless and so many other businesses are hitting the edge and closing and some have completely closed and may never reopen. If they chose going to their folks, it again means putting their lives at risk in case they expose themselves to the virus along the way interacting with other passengers in the Public service vehicles. What would you choose if it were you?

To be candid, so many of us have questioned the existence of this virus based on how other countries, a close to home example being Tanzania, has opened its economy and everything is Normal, we’ve not heard of any fatalities and deaths and more cases ever since, and out of desperation for a job or a hustle or a source that is supposed to generate one income. I’m sure everyone else will be willing to stay home to flatten the curve only if there’s a guarantee the landlord won’t get their rooftop cut out and again if they won’t die of hunger. Brutal truth is, the virus exists and many have succumbed to it. It is therefore our responsibility to ensure our safety and that of our loved ones. It does not have to hit home for us to believe that truly this virus is real and is killing many. Rumours have been making rounds of how certain people have been paid to stage their positive diagnosis of the virus, I’m not a judge on this one but even so, I don’t see the need of one pretending to be Covid-19 positive while gasping for breath and pipes of Oxygen inserted into their nostrils. Burale is a public figure, YES! A man of God who is born again as every child of God claims. A father to one daughter and I don’t think there be underlying robust reasons why he would be bribed to say he’s positive of the virus.

It’s upon us to believe that it is real, whether some other people want to stage manage it or not, it is on us to elude naivety and stay safe for our seniors. Something we ought to know by now is that this virus knows no class, gender, race, it attacks everyone who exposes themselves to it! Though in our country to be honest, our politicians are immune to it 😂😂😂 citizens cannot hold gatherings but politicians can without even adhering to the social distancing directive. They heal in a span of five days 😂😂😂 while the common Mwananchi has to heal in a span of one to two months 😢. In short, money heals real quick! You should understand politicians will be attended to with qualified professionals, just name the price! With the very same tax that comes from your poor pocket and hard sweat, oooh Mwananchi! You will be taken to a crowded facility where you are rarely attended to because your pockets are not loaded, Argh! Just do what will keep you out of all this trouble.

Many goals sadly have been stagnated. Plans halted if not cancelled. Should this year be counted really? I’m also wondering! Since I started making sense it’s my first time to have witnessed schools close for 10 months and all learners repeating their respective classes/forms/grades. So if life seems so boring to you, think of a learner who opted to reseat a class this year so as to score higher grades only to repeat again next year, not because he/she wanted it, but because a pandemic that hit the whole world forced him/her to do it. Imagine how such a person feels wherever they are. It is hard! But as if there’s any other choice, we’re not gloriously spoilt for plenty. How about those poised to join school as beginners, nursery school or kindergarten? Do they repeat at home? Yet to find out what will happen just like you.

You see this pandemic has been an equaliser in a way most living below the poverty line individuals won’t comprehend and it’s understandable for them not to for facets of the economy well known to us: food, shelter, employment, etcetera. I’ve personally been to a private institution that used to accommodate children from rich families but since schools closed and the owner needs a source of income, the classes have been restructured and renovations are ongoing to convert them into rental houses, ask yourself where these children will go when schools reopen. I’m not asking you to be a schadenfreude, rejoicing at other people’s atrocities, NO! I’m trying to put some sense into you that this virus has affected everyone of us only that our problems might not be the same. It is going to be a fresh start for so many people when normalcy resumes. It is going to be so hard for many people, lakini tutajikaza. We won’t cringe to the adversities, we shall eagerly look forward to the advent of breakthroughs in store for everyone struggling at the moment. Let’s pray and keep the HOPE!

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A deceitful smile

Today is one of those days when I experience the recurrence of the so many emotions I’ve had to always deal with. As I put this down, my eyes are filled up with tears, if it was to be a downpour it would be squally. My current situation as I write this is difficult to Elucidate, but again there’s no other better way to put it, this is the best. With the thought that this is my most safest space to reminisce on. Is it the right time for me to let all these emotions out? The fact that I’ve taken this step to talk about it means I’ve given it much thought and one of the ways in which I deal with difficult situations in my life is putting it down on paper. This is how I halfway solve them sometimes weaved with humour, glazed colorfully with metonymy.

A Cadillac of emotions! Anxiety, sadness, fear, schizophrenia, utopia, anger, etcetera. A mixture of this automatically renders one a recluse. Every time I step out of my door I only allow the outside to see my smile and happiness! Nothing else! Almost every time I am leaving the house I have to practice in front of my mirror on how I will be smiling for the entire day 😂😂. Only if people would get the opportunity to slit your heart open would they come close to the astonishing truth you’ve been hiding from them 😢😢.

Okay, it got me by surprise when a few friends of mine told me I look like someone who never undergoes stress, that I live a happy and stress free life and I’m not bothered by anything. I didn’t know how to react! To date I still ask myself what it is they see in me to conclude I don’t go through other negative emotions! My life is this floral plant that only blossoms and has got no time to wither. I don’t know what other friends will say about me, will it be the same? I might end up losing the intention of this post and also the initial emotion that I started with when writing this piece has vanished 😁😁😁 I now understand why my friends say I’m un-bothered because I deal with my sadness, anxiety, fear and all other negativity in bed and walk out with a broad smile.

I’m not cowering from the reaction that I might end up receiving afterwards from the publication of this post. Let’s just say maybe I’m not ready to open up anymore. See how writing has suppressed everything 😉 it’s a dose! But I’m going through a myriad of emotions my smile will never reveal and I live in the hope it never goes overboard and make me become suicidal or harm myself physically.

A deceitful smile that hides so much pain inside
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Who will it be to hold my hand?

The thought of who will show up one day along the way and support you, gas you up, wipe your tear, sweat, chear you on, understand your flaws and embrace them, correct you, offer you a shoulder and in short be part of your journey utterly sends one in severe anxiety.

I am not talking about a life partner, NO! If you are on your way to attain your dreams and achieve all the success that you ever wished for, have you stopped yourself for even a second to ask yourself who it is that will hold you by the hand, in your facet of profession and show you the route or direction to take? For the indecisive individuals though there’s a belief that there’s nothing as such as being indecisive, you either choose not to make a decision or make one and either way that is being decisive!

A lot of people don’t always get the opportunity or enjoy the pleasure of having eye openers in form of individuals in their lives. They assume all the many roles I earlier mentioned in the beginning of this piece and it has to take courage, failing and choosing to stand up again and keep trying, stumbling upon blocks and still blossom in the wake of another chapter. Self doubting and still believe in themselves, Fear of the unknown and yet jump on it blindly not minding the outcome.

We can all agree that fear for failure and the uncertainties that lie ahead or beneath us strongly and consistently hold us back from pursuing a lot of tremendous successful things and making long lasting decisions for our own sake. Most of our decisions are driven by how it’s supposed to affect those around us and not personally how it’s going to effect us. Family, friends and the society in general have been and still are a key player in the most decisions we’ve had to make even in as much as they don’t offer a hand, they’re the moral police officers.

Prayers without hardwork is utterly a waste of energy, but, what about prayers meant to ask for the opportunities you ought to work hard for? Most people lack opportunities, people to connect them to the direct places or jobs they deserve? Some people are quite charismatic, things work in their favour without a break of the sweat and without the need of a pacesetter or maker. We all are waiting in awe for the day we will either come out stronger as an individual or come out stronger as a team.

Amongst those that surround us, who’s willing to offer you a hand? To hold you throughout the journey without fear or hate? Is it also difficult for you to ask for a hand? Maybe because everyone else is need of a hand and so we feel we don’t want to overwhelm them with our troubles. Some of us wish we could get a platform to utilize our abilities and we live in the hope that one day things will fall into place and all these worries will be long gone.

One day things will intentionally work for your good. You’ll have had no support to get you to your prime of your career but you will be extreme tears of joy, looking back at the steps you’d have made. Keep your chin up and speak positive and good vibes about yourself, this phase will be gone before you know it! So who will it be that is going to hold your hand, yourself or someone will eventually show up? If it is yourself or someone, I still wish you best of luck in this most challenging and trying time.

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ADJUSTMENTS

Hope you are all fairing on well and keeping your mental health on check. From my very own personal experience, I know you’re trying as much as you can afford to religiously ensure that you don’t drown into your worries! All of us! Basically All of us had plans if not dreams, to be somewhere academically, professionally, relationship wise, spiritually, etcetera before the first year of another new decade elapses. Some of us already had plans underway and 2020 was inscribed as the year of breakthrough in places we were willing to step in, in full force.

Absolutely no one saw this picking a toll on us, getting flogged by directives and having to take more time away from the underway plans. Putting them on halt and waiting as we all try to figure out when this will come to a stop. Some have had to stay away from their families to protect them when the opposite, staying close to your family, used to beat the odds. We are all now getting accustomed to the new Normal, staying indoors and wearing masks when need be to leave the house. A lot of people are learning to function without the bottle in their hands and it’s components in their blood system. Some are realizing who their true friends in the absence of the bottle that used to bind them are. Married people are now getting accustomed to staying around each other for days without getting into a fight. The fabric of every foundation has been shaken and prompted ADJUSTMENTS.

Have you had to make any? Faithfuls have discovered that church is not a physical structure, that God is found and can be worshipped everywhere! We are all calling upon the Lord in our houses and He still hears. In any specific way I’m not Insinuating that after this pandemic people should not go back to the physical structures. But just to let you know that, after all this is over and completely done away with, a lot of amendments are going to take effect. Don’t forget people have again fallen in love with some space in their living rooms or even outside their houses where they now call thier gym 😒. So what happens next? They won’t be paying that fee at the local gym joint for training when they can save that cash.

All of us, if not all, then most of us were so much immersed into a handshake whenever we used meet, failure to which was perceived indisrespectful, with attitude and ego. We’ve all realized that a handshake is not basic and we can still function in harmony without it 😂✋. For the first time since I’ve lived, schools have had to be cancelled, tournaments called off and many other mandatory activities worldwide. The economy of almost every country has banged and flopped amidst the Covid -19 Pandemic. What overjoys me in the middle of this is the discovery of a country’s preparedness for such a crisis and how to respond to it! Evidently, even the countries we all know as third world countries and have all the superpowers were not prepared. In such a pandemic true leaders are standing with their people and offering help to those in need. It is a good time presented to people to evaluate who stands true to them four years after entrusting them with their votes to lead them. Some of the leaders are not in the political realm but they’ve outshined the political leaders.

Some just came to the realization that they can actually work from home 😱 what a discovery! What about those that have lost their jobs? A new acculturation, that after this, no one knows when, they don’t know where to start but it is a fresh start 😢. SAD! So many people across the world will are and will have to make so many adjustments by the end of this pandemic. Question is, how good are you at adjustments? Are you flexible enough to cope with changes that come with different situations?

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Do you get scared?

When I ask this question one thing I guess runs through your head is the fact that you get scared, but you’d want this post to go direct to its point. What do I get scared of? You’re 💯% right! Every individual, no matter the class, race, background, has his/her own fears they never bring themselves to talk about.

Apart from the fear of everything not turning out the way you had envisioned (goals in terms of academics, work, love life) people go through a lot of fears that to some may seem or look like nothing to them. With the novel Covid 19 virus not selecting any specific group to attack whether social class, continent, age, gender. It is clear our worst fear is death. But alongside the measures that have been put in place as a way of suppressing and controlling the worldwide pandemic, it is clear that the fears are different from every group. It is easier for the ruling class to stay at home because food won’t be an issue and in fact their homes are a palace to stay around.

The less fortunate view it differently, their greatest fear is to not secure a meal for their family and it it the reason as to why they are having it hard to stay at home following the mandatory lockdown directive because how do they fend for their families? For those from the informal settlement areas: it is even worse, the one metre self distancing measure is “undoable” why? The houses are small and congested, there’s no enough space to stay apart from another family member.

Those are some of the fears, I know there are many more! Do I personally get scared? Yes I do. From the fact that I envisaged my life, making my parents proud, supporting my family, settling down with a man I love and starting a happy family by the time I pound into my 25th year. But all these are found in a novel or maybe a movie. Things don’t just happen the way we think and even dream, but no matter what GOD! I’m trusting In you for all that I ever asked for. It doesn’t matter when, where, how, but through your intervention I believe it’s happening. That my breakthrough is close than I anticipated and you’re making a way where I myself ain’t seeing a way. Make everything happen in your time 🙇🙇 Truth of the matter is, we’re all scared of what this pandemic could cause, the outcome or the aftermath!

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LIFE is a TWIST

Have you ever thought that everything will go wrong one time in your life? Of course not! Who would wish such thoughts to even flinger him/her? Everyone wants their life to be super cool. Legit love life, cited/ referenced as couple goals. Legit friends, Who are pure at heart and will always be present for you. In short, a perfect life!

So all my life I’ve dedicated myself to relationships which I thought were incredible and that they’d last forever but in the end I was all along miserably wrong. All the hurt I’ve proudly stomached and forged ahead. I’m one woman, I won’t beat my chest to being great, who has never and will never want to find great joy in coming between two people who feel they’re in love and are meant for each other. Between people who’ve seen or found love in each other.

How would you react to a scenario where things escalate between your guy and his lady friend? Hurling insults at each other, throwing tantrums and in the long run the lady asks you to take care of your piece of*shiet* 😂😂 WOW! What great times to have been alive if this was to happen. In that phase, that is when truth wants to come out and people pour their hidden truth. In such feuds, don’t take sides, just listen no matter how dump you might be in love.

This is a great time for you to know the truth whether your guy is cheating on you or not 😛😰 just never let such an opportunity pass you by, it is one in a lifetime and once presented to you and you shun, chances of it passing by again become minimal. At the end you will know how to take care of your mess. What is it again that happened to people’s temper? Remind me when you find out. That everyone wants to prove their point even if it means calling each other unwanting names. They all end up stooping too low. Although it might sound awkward, but it is the right time for people to chest off the hidden rage and secrets within them.

So, what will you do if through the same argument it turns out that your partner is a cheater? That all the while it’s been discreet that he’s been spreading the gospel of love to other women when you thought it was strictly your gospel? Could you change a thing? I know you’d say NO but you know better. Don’t normalise the notion of men being polygamous by virtue of nature and the notion that a woman can do it better, whatever a man has done! Stop living in such an old age. Don’t normalise cheating, in short! Leave if it is toxic, where you’re not appreciated because you’re missing out on who would have to show you love and appreciation you deserve.

Before you decide to make any decision based on what you’ve heard from a third party, be mature enough to take your time and interrogate the accused party. Get the truth and get to the core! You will end up making informed decisions having taken your time, just never act in a haste upon receiving information. Some people are genuine! Some are prepared to ruin you and rejoice at your downfall. Always evaluate the situation and find the solution to it. In the best scenario, make a decision that won’t severely hurt any of you and let it again be the best decision.

If you are the indecisive type, This is just when Life gives you a twist. It might be all about love but you should love yourself first, find yourself and be your own cheer leader so that when such storms come, you will withstand come out strong and equipped on how to handle situations ethically.

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GET A GROUND!

Sometimes even the break itself breaks one down! Events in life wears you down, you get overwhelmed and you cannot stand it or bear it! Some of them take you by surprise, in most cases you don’t wish to open up to people and you convince yourself to being able to handle them single handedly. Why bother other people anyway?? You can only understand yourself better, so all the time you got you! Keep up the smile in all the miseries, no one should ever know that internally you’re bleeding. Laugh with them and tell your pillow how your inside is wet with sorrows when you successfully make it to your house in the evening.

Have you ever wished you were dead but still feel life is so precious and you still have time to enjoy the days of your life even with the hard knocking events? So many times I hear of “Don’t worry about tomorrow, it will take care of itself” Don’t get caught up in this ignorance! Tomorrow is not guaranteed, that I know, but it is still important to be prepared just in case you find yourself in it. What about those who have no idea of what to do? Not because they’ve chosen to, life is not serving them well, in a way they never anticipated.

Staying strong at times is not a vibe. So how do you hold up when you completely are not in a position to hold up anymore? When you cannot talk about your mental state, because it is deteriorated and your life sadly flops. It is not easy to explain how your heart hurts to people when life ain’t treating you good.

Cheers 🍻 to the ones that rise again after this wave hits them hard 💔. Please go on! The ones that wake without a ground to support them but still step out not knowing what is holding them, and still make it to the next day. You’re my heroes. I hope you one day get assurance of the kind of ground you step onto, I hope one day you wake up knowing your purpose. I hope you get something to always keep your hands on even when the turbulence hits unexpectedly. My prayers go out to you all 🙏🙏