Why I started this blog?

I started this blog because it was a requirement and part of an assignment for one of our academic units, online journalism. I must admit that initially I was doing it for the sake of earning a score for my examination. Not once did it ever cross my mind that this space will provide me with an opportunity to writing what I resonate with in my every day to day life. That this platform would be an avenue to pour out your mind and emotions as a way of dealing with stress.

This blog is meant to educate, inform and entertain you. I write about things that happen around us and we can easily identify ourselves with. I write about stuff that both directly and indirectly affect us. I am looking forward to making it even more Interesting by incorporating NEWS on this blog. Feel free to read my posts, comment on them, add and subtract when you feel like it. Criticize where possible. Thank you for paying audience to my writings ❤❤. Come and Let’s take this adventure!

First hand raw pg, birth and nursing journey.

I should have published this a long time ago but it has been lying unfinished in my drafts and I thought, why not? Hope we can all normalise stories of our encounters with pregnancy, delivery and nursing without judgement or feeling awkward about it. Enjoy the read!

I look at him and smile broadly. He is so cute and I’m in awe of the beauty of our creation. You haven’t seen him smile yet, I promise his smile will send you blushing. I am so proud of us. By the way I produced an exact copy of his father, only that this one has two dimples and a head full of black curly hair. He is the chubby type that many think is being overfed and is obese, hahaha. He was chubby even before he started weaning and I promise you chubbiness runs deep in our lineage.

Let me give you a detour into the journey that has been bitter sweet for us and a personal account of pregnancy, birthing and nursing. A question of whether I will miss my pregnancy is one I answered while still pregnant. NO! If I’m to be deprived of sleep by paining hips and thighs I sure won’t miss that pain. During the second and third trimester, I had difficulty sleeping on both the left and right side. I would experience a sharp pain from the hip which would suffuse to the thigh and for a minute I would be unable to lift my leg even in an attempt to get from that very position to stop the pain. I would let the pain subside on its own before I lift myself up to lie on the other side or sit up in bed. During these encounters I would cry and look forward to the end of the pregnancy. I actually used to pray to be among the statistics of those that go into labour during the seventh month just to have the pain go away soon but instead seven turned into ten. I will somehow miss the glow and the priority treatment in shopping malls and matatus.

This brings me to the most evaded conversation about pregnancy. Why do we vilify women who give their raw accounts and shut them when they say they weren’t prepared for their pregnancy? Oh, don’t say that, there are women who wish to have children or whatever you’ve got. And you honestly think we don’t have these people in our minds and we don’t wish they got children? My prayer always is that God blesses the wombs of women who really want to have children.

I’ve heard this talk over and over again, no one prepares for pregnancy, it just happens; this is what should be demystified. Imagine a pregnancy can be well prayed, planned and prepared for. I always say mine was not prepared for and I end up getting talked down. Again, when I say one is enough for me I’m looked at like a mean human. I honestly would like to have as many children as possible but whom do you intend to carry them, each 10months and 24hrs of labour? Hats off to you all women who go beyond one because I don’t trust myself to be endowed enough for such.

Despite the night sleep challenges, the journey was good with strong kicks that never seized- I now understand why I have a playful, ever jovial son. My stress kicked in during the 37th week, when I went for my last clinic and the nurse attending to me said my pregnancy was oblique and I needed to go to Mbagathi for an emergency CS. I instead went to see my gynaecologist who confirmed to me that all was well I shouldn’t get stressed, especially towards the end. I chose to wait for my labour despite having been advised to not wait until the 40th week due to the exacerbated blood pressure.

On the 28th of January at around 3am I experienced a sudden handful splash of liquid and I sure knew it wasn’t urine, I chose to wait since I hadn’t started experiencing any pain. I continued to experience discharge of clear substance with brown shades. Six hours later and I wasn’t in any form of pain. We decided to visit the health centre we used to attend prenatal clinics and the lady that served us advised us to go to KNH since many hours had lapsed without receiving labour pains. We called our gynae and she also advised us to proceed to KNH and we obliged. She said six hours is a lot of time, after having water discharge with zero pain, the baby might be in distress.

I was admitted at around 2p.m and induced at 9p.m but before getting induced I was belly strapped with an elastic material attached to an electronic machine, cardiotocography, CTG, that printed very tiny bound pieces of paper from the top of the machine to the floor. It was 30 minutes of monitoring the baby’s heart rate and contractions but the moment the straps were unbuckled mild pains started setting in.

The inducing dosage, pitocin started off well until I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. I still can’t believe I am the one who was crying and asking the doctor to just take me to the theatre instead. An intern on the night rotation made it worse when she came to examine my dilation, triggering continuous excruciating pain, I don’t know what pain intervals are and what they feel like because I didn’t have a break from when the pains kicked in.

On Sunday, at around 6 a.m I was moved into the delivery room and put on a drip and I remember cross-checking with this intern if she sure knew how to insert the needle well (okay, I just didn’t want to be a sample for an intern to be learning on especially during a life threatening encounter, yes, giving birth is a matter of life and death) She ended messing up by inserting the needle directly into the flesh of my dorsa instead of the vein and after a long while of pushing, the nurse in charge noticed the swelling hand, at 9cm of dilation and had to remove the needle and look for another alternative, antecubital fossa which wasn’t working, instead of the drug flowing into my body through the antecubital fossa, blood from my body was flowing into the pipe attached to the needle. The frustration took a toll on me and I almost lost it. I was told “Mummy shuka kwa kitanda usquat squat” With that amount of pain one can barely do anything, in fact going up on that bed itself is another hurdle you never bring your head around accomplishing, now imagine being asked to squat.

I pushed for sometime till I was left with no strength to continue pushing. I didn’t see myself making it until a nurse told me my baby was in distress and tired and I needed to act fast. I have no idea where I harnessed the strength from to give one final push but when I told myself inside my head I was going to give it one final powerful push and counted to three and started to execute, I felt a painful cut on my perineum followed by, “This blade is not even sharp.” I don’t know if you’ve ever lost your cool because I almost ran mad. This other nurse had given me an episiotomy without my knowledge and went ahead to claim she had not cut me when I furiously asked her why she opted to cut me in the middle of pushing without consulting me first. I stopped pushing before getting back at it again. Other women around me were consenting to it first before getting cut and I felt it would have been respectful to consult with me first so that I was mentally prepared for what was coming my way but making that decision when I had made up my mind that I was going to give my all to make sure my baby was out felt so disrespectful.

Lest I forget, I went through the primal gross fecal encounter, it felt embarrassing but with time and encouragement from the nurse intern who had taken over from the other intern who had messed me up earlier, I swallowed that pride and gave out more poop before our “nugget” made his way out. I finally delivered and the doctor who had attended to me the whole night walked in and found the nurses cleaning me. He congratulated me and went on to ask the nurses how I was doing. He actually walked in on the third nurse cleaning me and they told him I had Internal tears which none of them have ever sutured and requested him to stitch the internal ones and they would suture the external tears together with the cut from the episiotomy. The doctor took over after a lot of convincing and before he did he had suggested I be taken to the theatre since he had observed I was losing a lot of blood, a suggestion which of course I countered by saying they turned a deaf ear to my very humble request of being taken to the theatre because of extreme labour pain. The doctor started cleaning me again and said I had lots of blood clots before stitching the internal tears. After he was done with suturing the internal tears I requested him to finish the work he had started instead of passing me over to the nurses again for the external incision. He went in to stitch the external tears and the cut and from there the nursing journey now set in.

Nursing a colic and reflux baby wasn’t an easy ride. We can never put in words the exhaustion and sleep deprivation we had to endure before we could finally catch a breath.

I will not overemphasize not having family and friends around especially at a time when you badly need a hand, what it does to your mental state and healing. The lack of sisterhood in nursing when you anticipated to have it during pregnancy is appalling.

To all of you who will come across this and you have the wish to bring an angel into this world, motherhood and fatherhood is so rewarding and worth giving it a clear shot. I promise you will be tested and tried but many are the happy moments you look at that child and admire their milestones in growth. Don’t get discouraged, I can encourage you by asking you to do your research well on what to expect during pregnancy, delivery and nursing so that certain things don’t catch you by surprise and HAVE people in your life who will extend a hand and support you before and after delivery. It works magic in one’s healing.

Do I still want to have an addition? It’s open for debate.

Nguvu Ya Kubet!

Cliché! I know it’s every woman’s dream and prayer to carry a child of their own in both their wombs and arms even if at one time they eventually outgrow their arms. There are also women who are okay and happy with never dreaming and wishing to conceive and have children. There are those who pray and dream of conceiving but because of underlying circumstances, they’re unable to. I respect all these categories of women and hold each one of them with utmost respect in my heart.

I dread women who boast and who feel they’re entitled to pass judgement on women who are unable to conceive and those who have made a personal decision to not have children for personal reasons. So there was a conversation going on behind my back, between people I considered friends and not just friends but family because for me I held them so close and were dear to me that I was free to share everything with them.

The word that was used was “kubet.” “Huyu ameoleka na ameshindwa kubet, mimi nitamtangulia,” this coming from someone I had not wronged, someone who had expressed her sadness for leaving her behind when I was moving from the residence we had shared, to my fiancé’s place. Someone we had shared almost all the meals together, all the sorrows and joys together. All these sentiments are while she’s still communicating with on the other side and expressing how she misses me.

She might as well learn from this article that everything, every single thing she said on that night, I got wind and the patience within me has been tested. It might not amount or equate to that of my father but it has indeed stood the test of time. If there’s anything I wasn’t working hard for was conceiving. It was not even on top of my list. What people don’t realize is that to each, priorities are set differently and achievements to and from each differ.

I am glad she went ahead and conceived to prove her point of fertility and coming first in a competition I was never a participant in. When I got wind she was pregnant I gave thanks to my supreme being for granting her that which was her wish and achievement. I was happy for her when I also learned she had delivered her baby safely. The one who made it possible for me to learn of the other side of her was also a common friend of ours but when that happened I really questioned her contribution towards such bestial conversations. I wondered what was said behind closed doors by both of them when there wasn’t anyone to listen and watch. Above all I am grateful to her for opening that door. She too will learn from this article if she happens to read it that I know she conceived and at the end of the month of September – beginning of October she welcomed her bundle of joy. She never shared the news of her pregnancy with me and when I invited her to my wedding she claimed her boss won’t permit her to be away from work.

There’s something called guts and quite often I like to trust them. I trusted from the word go from the first incident that the two were up to no good in terms of openness and genuineness of our “friendship” I sensed something was a miss and I chose to keep distance. I tried to keep in touch with the second one but I realized I was forcing an elephant through a needle’s hole. During that conversation of my inability to conceive, I learnt the visit we had planned to have to the said “friend’s” place, the one whom we shared residence before I moved, she had ranted how “mtu akioleka akae kwake. Anataka kukuja kucamp kwa nani? Kwangu watu wasikuje kucamp.” She had told us when we were about to visit her, that she had travelled to her home village to visit her dad who had broken his leg from a cow’s kick. I honestly hope the father is doing well. She had not travelled to the village and she had used that as an excuse to avoid us and cancel a visit from someone who had chosen to get married.

While saying all these things, she confirmed to having her husband around whom soon they were going to “bet” with before I could. I learnt later she quit her job and moved in with the “husband” since she was pregnant. I’m older than these two women and this should tell you I’m experienced and my priorities are unmatched. I still feel sad that there are people who work hard having sex to get children to compete or prove a point to other people who have no Idea they’re competing with them. Our paths are drawn out differently, please don’t waste energy to prove a point to people who are unaware. You might land in a big mess afterwards after you have made your statement.

I have no bad blood and I am so happy for you for the achievements you’ve made and the goals you’ve attained. I am hoping you’re happy. Next time let me know in advance what we’re competing for but I honestly have no energy for competitions. I will be here clapping for you for your wins, please make them worthwhile. I also hope you know “sina nguvu ya kubet mimi” (I do not have the energy and strength to conceive) please bet on my behalf and win!

On a personal level- Away from Church and ministering!

People of God
This talk should have been done with a long time ago. I don’t know where, as an individual whose background has been founded in religion or faith, you intend to meet and fall in love with the one you envisage to spend the rest of your life with.

In these structures we turn up to either on Sundays or any other day of the week that has been programmed for meetings and fellowships, harbours all kinds of people- intentions known to each soul. We seek different gratifications.

I love worships and praises. They minister to me and gets so deep to an end that sometimes the sermon doesn’t. That tells you I appreciate a praise and worship team that draws me nearer to God’s feet. A soloist who leads so well without so much drama that loses the taste of the song and a backup that harmonizes through the song so angelically that you feel God’s presence.

I’m not sure if you’ve met one of the team members that draws us to God away from the church building trying to get to know each other on a personal level . So much is said about these people, how unromantic they are, how when you meet on dates all they do is narrate scriptures 藍. I have been in the praise and worship team myself and my foundation since childhood is established in the Christian faith and being a reverend’s daughter you definitely have a picture of the high expectations and decorum that rests on my shoulders.

I’m glad I understood that matters faith are personal and that my father’s and family’s stance on faith should not give people the right to pronounce how I move, act/ behave and speak. In some way I was the rebellious one who shared her piece of mind with women in the church who felt they had authority over me by the mere fact that they were good Christian friends to my father and so they owned the devine rights to “correct” you and tell you how to live. Most of them kept a long distance after learning my father is an individual and I was an individual on my own. To some I didn’t even need to say a word, my shoulder or glance alone served them all they deserved.

I met a servant of God . He leads worship so well and that docket suits him. All demons scatter and lost souls are won back to the Lord when this man holds the mic to lead worship. When he made the move I was sure I was in God’s safe hands and that I won’t have to deal with someone who is not after God’s heart. You expect people of God, especially His servants to be honest and this one set off with honesty. He shared his dreams which I was happy about, confessed to having a child whom they’re co-parenting with the mother though the mother is out of the picture in his life -she’s only present in the life of the child, in fact she’s living abroad since the time they parted ways.

I love children 朗, we won’t even have to get more since there’s already one we can take care of to be honest. What’s the need to subject me to labour when one has already been laboured for us? We met out on these dates, took long walks together and listened to his valid dreams, went to where he wishes to buy a house and settle with me- he really wants me in his life and wants me to be the mother of his children and I’m flattered! He has my trust at this level. Oh! He’s also a bishop’s son, I forgot to tell you. What a coincidence! Right? A reverend’s daughter and a bishop’s son!

I’m invited to his house since so far I’ve gained his trust and I’ve seen his honest. I’m also interested in meeting his daughter whom he lives with. Set the date and he picks me from the bus stop, just a few metres from where he lives. He’s a great cook and I saw him prepare the meals himself . The house is so neat, I look at frames of his daughter and she’s a beauty. Maybe the reason why I haven’t set my eyes on her is because she’s asleep but on asking she’s at her grandparents’ she will be picked soon when schools reopen.

The date ends and he sees me off. So far so good this could be the man, I just need to continue getting to know him well . Dates here and there and on this day given my extra sense of an eye I ask him, “Do you smoke?” He giggles and avoids the question. In fact he asks why I asked him that question, “Do I smoke myself?” I have never smoked, neither tasted liquor. I avoid that subject since it’s uncomfortable for him.

He admits during another visit he does smoke an expensive type of weed but he’s trying to stop. If he’s working on stopping it’s okay with me after all I’ve dated someone who chewed jaba and drunk liquor like his life depended on it . This life no go balance my people. Him too I was patient with him standing in the promises he’s working hard to stop and since he had me in his life, he was doing everything possible to change. Watu wa Mungu, if someone wants to change they will change and please never waste your time and effort thinking that you hold the key to changing their habits.

The weed discovery tilts me a bit and gives rise to more questions. So far I’ve not seen the daughter, this time it’s the turn of the mother to stay with her.  Good Lord sent this young man to knock at he door while he was in the washroom taking a shower. I open the door and he asks me if “Shii’ is in. I tell him I don’t know who that is and he chuckles, ” You’re sure you don’t know who “Shii” is?” I play along and say I was kidding  she left this morning but she’s around 藍藍. He says he’ll be back then later. Man comes after taking a shower and asks who that was and I say it was a friend to “Shii” but he’ll come back some other time when she’s back. I read the reaction on his face and I can tell there’s something I’m not being told.

I insist on knowing who this woman that lives in this house is and he completely shuts down. This is not the foot I want to set off on. On this day I show myself off because honestly who wants to live a life with someone in the future founded upon lies? He avoided this question and up to date I was never let in in who this mysterious woman was , I don’t need the answer today because I walked from a life that would have been full of deceit. Those were the signs for me and I refused to ignore those red flags.

He later came back, I have no slightest idea where he has been all that time and all he could say was I rejected him because he wasn’t wealthy 珞. I know all our wealth and treasures are in heaven, I have no Idea what this man was talking about. He has a new girlfriend whom I know and she’s also a powerful servant of God who sings like God is in our midst washing our feet and we are dinning with Him thereafter. I popped the question, “Have you let her in into your secrets?,”  he says No and I just laugh. I wish him the best as he plans to visit her home and even start plans of their wedding. They’re now married but he reminisces our time back then . He would have married me if I didn’t reject him 奈.

They’re now happy together and God has blessed them with a child and I love to see their love for each other blossom. The Petero’s in our churches are many but that doesn’t mean we don’t have good ones, there are good ones too, just ask the necessary questions and dig deep when in doubt. He was the first and last to pluck from the church . I didn’t mention when he came back in as much as he had found love he was still showing interest in me and also tried to hit on my friend . That alone doubled the rejection. Thank you for reading! I hope you’re well!

FACILE POLITICAL DECISIONS

I’m as interested as every disinterested Kenyan in knowing the individuals behind the lower food prices hashtag. Can we be candid with our own selves? Aren’t we the same people who entertain all these crap every electioneering period? How deteriorated are our memories? Do we suffer from amnesia? We have never United and collaborated to seek accountability and we will continue rallying behind sponsored hashtags and committing the same suffrage mistakes!  Instead of bustling under this facetious hashtag, let’s unite at the ballot and vote the desired economic change we all want. It all starts at the ballot! Our current austerity is a result of our poor taste in leaders. It’s time to be meticulous with who we want to lead us and make Cadillac economic and financial decisions on our behalf.

PLEASE

I hope you can look straight into people’s eyes and read their sadness. I hope you can point out their enduring pain and lessen their suffering. While at it I hope you can speak up and share what is weighing you down into the tomb despite how grave the problem or suffering might seem to share. When you finally find peace I hope it is in rest and not while resting in peace because of withholding and suppressing accumulated pain and suffering. Collaboratively we can reduce the burden and prevent suicide ❣️

FAR

There, exists life on the far end
There, air is not compromised
And soil is optimised
If you want to breath and dream again,
Take a leap of faith and hop on the train
There, reigns peace, you are at ease
All you need is a ticket
A ticket to detoxify and renew
Restore lost energy, dream afresh
Rekindle love and the adventure that once resided in you!

Power dwells in you
Key is unlocking the padlocks
Emancipation is in daring the invincible wings
Fly to greater heights for clarity
Infinite possibilities are achievable
Transformation is charming on you
Braveity and authenticity where there is will
So go as far as you can on your way
And LIVE! LEAVE behind unvisited regrets and failure

PEACE

PEACE

FITNESS

FITNESS

HEALING AND FORGETTING

what should come first? Healing or forgetting? Is there any chronological order? We all have gone through something that has required we heal and forget for peace’s sake. The burden of holding grudges against those that hurt you weighs down on you till you realize you’re loosing yourself to the grave.

My attention has been drawn out of the two, almost similar, stories I’ve been reading that effortlessly triggered tears to dance in all the corners of my eyes despite the resistance to let them out. To what extent would one be willing to go to to protect his or her family’s reputation? Has reputation blinded us this much that we have to allow our kids suffer under our own watch without speaking up on immoral vices immediate family members take them through?

One is of a young Muslim girl who repeatedly got molested by her male cousin that her parents had entrusted her to be her care taker. Watch over her, guide her and protect her. He took advantage of her continuously since childhood till high school and being a child she felt it was normal and very okay since the cousin who was older than her told her it was a tradition when she asked him. What would you have done as kid? When your grown family member tells you it’s a custom and there’s nothing wrong with whatever evil and harm they are causing you.

She later on, while in high school, learnt it was not right and she decided to speak out to the family but it is saddening that even her own parents who ought to be protecting her shun her and warned her against ruining the family’s good reputation 🥺🥺. To what length should we protect an image and reputation of a family? This is a matter that should have been delt with the moment this girl came out to narrate all about what she had been going through since she was left under the guidance of a cousin. She now carries a heavy burden within her, a burden that she’s not responsible for, she was a child that should have been protected. She wishes she never existed, she cannot move forward because of this one obstacle, an obstacle her parents would have gotten out of her way by accepting they made a mistake by trusting someone in the name of a family member to be the one to take care of her and spend most of his time with her.

Tell me how to live with such a big scar? A scar you keep seeing in family gatherings and events. Overly feeling dirty and disgusting when it was entirely not your fault. When the predator is not even remorseful for the damage he’s caused you and you’re forced to even attend his wedding. Parents should do better! If a father or a mother can defile their own children, who is a cousin to leave a child in their care? Parents should keep a close watch on their kids and listen to them when they speak about something unusual and not just listen but act upon such serious matters.

How do you advise such a hurt person to forgive and forget about a life time of defilement? The images of the act come dashing and flashing in her head and she can’t get over the bad things that were done to her. Can such a person heal? She will heal definitely once she makes a pact with herself that she wants to love herself and forgive herself for thinking that it was her fault when it entirely was never her fault all that time. In the meantime I’d allow her to feel however she wants to feel but I’d never want her to take away her life for feeling filthy, she will probably never forget about the whole ordeal but she can heal at her own pace, not a counsellor’s pace.

NOT ENOUGH!

Don’t worry, Oh!  aa. aah you should be worried about every damn thing. Where do I start? Which angle should I take? Okay. Have you ever felt you’re not enough or you do not measure up to a task? You continuously doubt yourself, your ability and strength. You think you’re not good enough so you self loath and vitriol inherently. Fear has seduced you and you have undeniably become focal point lovers.

Vide,  I am a victim and for years I’ve been battling the ubiquitous unspoken feeling of not measuring up to and not being the right fit. Please be kind to people, be cautious or mindful of your choice of words to express to people. I have been a slave to this war because of one comment from someone who should have guided me that time, it’s vivid and I still hold it dear as if it pays my bills. So this lecturer asked why I was choosing journalism as a career and I confidently said “I want to become a news anchor or a reporter.”  “Do you think you have the looks or the body for it?” he asked. Tha latter has ever since trounced me and no matter what strides I keep making I stop in my head to tell myself I am not fit, I don’t have the face for it, neither do I have the body for the task.

I feel I let this into my system so much that it affected my courage. I doubt every other person who compliments, I am beautiful! The mean voice at the back of my mind reiterates how less and unattractive I am. My life is inertia. I am disappointed in myself, for procrastinating my growth, my success. Fear presides over my life and I badly want to write it off. I am tired of being mean to myself, vilifying own self. I honestly would not wish to be the reason for someone’s daily self doubt and vitriol. In a world full of bestiality, I choose to be generous with my words, to encourage, build and not to shatter dreams.

Think of it, how often do we allow other persons’ mean words get to us? We abandon the initial goal, our success deja vu, the path to our stardom and debut and relent to inconsiderate and selfish people. We create more room for doubt and fear. We push away people with pure intentions because of facile comments that were once said to us by people with sinister motives. We’ve shut destiny and success doors failing to realize they were rightfully meant for us. How many times have you ignored that job advertisement because you feel you are not the best fit, you’re not worth it? So you intentionally refuse to give it a shot? Sooo many times!

It is time to reclaim our goals and restore our resilience towards our success. It is going to take extra energy but we ought to liberate ourselves from the chains of doubt and pity. Emancipate ourselves from this bondage of allowing people demean us, troddle over us and have their way as they please. You see there are other people who will effortlessly pound weakness on you and feel happy about it. I know you will start with, oh, you shouldn’t easily be willing to let vitriol access your system! Hold on! The more reason for this trouncing over me was because of two male friends who had no idea they were confirming hurtful words that were once said to me. In comparison with another female friend of mine, they said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, between you and so and so, a man will choose, not her name, Clare for a girlfriend. You understand?” Which I understood to be as she is more beautiful and pretty than you so a man will choose her for they can show her off as a girlfriend. They went ahead to say that if they would be looking for a wife then it would be me they’d go for.

That was a confirmation they had made to me, unknowingly. A nail on a healing scar I had battled for a time to heal. The fresh pain from their comments exceeded the initial pain despite the first mean words being said to me in front of my classmates during a lecture. The fact that I have wrote this after years tells you I’m willing rise above all the doubt and strife. I want to end seeking validation from people. What I think of myself and innately tell myself is more important than what other people tell me. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone but to myself. That I still have time to start over and be generous to thyself. I can choose, for I have power, to either give leverage or not to the readily available selfish sentiments from people. I can choose not to feed on bile. I can be and do better than this.

What you feed your system is what you become, and I purpose to feed it with life, healthy life for that matter. Spread your wings, and close your ears to nay sayers and hurtful cohorts. It is time to bestir and pay close attention to successful vistas without compromise. Find a why to live, is it family? That job? That love? And you shall truly bear with any how. Starting today, you should be worried about caring about what is said to you by others.